Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
