yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
