it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize