using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize