You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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