what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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