I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
