I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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