it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
false alarm. still invincible.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
