guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
