I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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