I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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