Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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