And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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