she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
