Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
