I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i came on her dog
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
