your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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