dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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