I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
