there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Randomize
