i don't like sucking hair
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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