have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
