Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize