I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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