i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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