I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
