dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
