i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize