i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
