Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
