Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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