this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
