Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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