I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
