I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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