Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
