Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
