Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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