My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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