i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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