i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
