We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize