But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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