I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
