no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
