literally had 100 drinks last night.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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