just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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