I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
