it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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