just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
