Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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