I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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