Can Purell be used as lube?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm always down for nudity.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
