Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
