I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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