alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
