am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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