I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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