so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
