i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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