Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
