Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
