i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
