so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
