i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
