If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
