We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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